It may get hairy…

Posts tagged ‘parenthood’

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ― Charles Dickens

Since I wrote The Drowning Feminist, I’ve had an outpouring of empathy from people in the same position. Men and women who are stuck at home, desperately trying to keep themselves motivated, keep their brain active and keep their head above the quagmire that is stay-at-home-parenthood. I can’t believe how many of my acquaintances have, in essence, been suffering in silence.

As such, I’ve been debating about whether or not to create a Facebook group, where we can support each other. It’s not a get-rick-quick scheme, I won’t be advertising or making any money, but I know that I’m much more likely to succeed and keep moving when I’m talking to others about my goals (i.e. I don’t want to visibly fail, so I push myself). In my mind, I see a group of people who post questions about what they’re struggling with (be it course information, technological issues, how to get into business or everyday crap), free courses and YouTube tutorials, general motivational stuff to get us off our arses and a whole lot of vents. If you’re interested in this, please, please vote below. I don’t get a lot of traffic here, so I’ll never know otherwise 😉

Now, back to the all-important me. I had a couple of weeks where I was incredibly motivated. Managed to stick to a cleaning routine and keep my house spotless (which, is a first!) and do a little bit of stuff here and there in between. It was too tiring though and I wasn’t able to keep it up. I was deep-cleaning a couple of rooms each day. So, I’ve now moved to focusing on a general clean a day and more stuff to build me up. I also have a swanky new desk! Well, a ‘console unit,’ but it’s pretty and I like it.

I’ve booked myself onto a photography course, as I mentioned before. However, I was completely unaware that it was actually a diploma! It’s a lot of time, which I don’t have, but I’m doing it anyway. I will succeed! I’m still on the basics, but have been faffing with photography in the meantime. Below are my first attempts and the mirror picture was heavily edited (I kinda like it like that, though) and not at all planned, so it’s not perfectly focused.

…and now I have to go because I just found my three year old putting mascara on my one year old.

Reflecting Youth – My baby girl decided to have a play in the mirror.

Mucking around while learning about my Nikon D5300


I am not responsible for your newsfeed

I’ve recently had a ‘Facebook purge.’ This is not something I’m particularly good at, for two reasons. Firstly, I don’t like upsetting people, despite having a temper and occasionally going on an offensive rampage; I really don’t like the idea that what I say or do, could hurt someone. Secondly, I like to keep in touch with people from my past and I love Facebook for that specific reason.

Most would think my purge was due to the Parisian crisis and the ‘anti-refugee’ nonsense that is spreading through most of our newsfeeds. In truth, I was hurt a few days prior by someone, whom I had considered a friend. She posted a rather nasty and hurtful article about parents ‘arrogantly’ posting photos of their children.*

Now, I’m no fool. I don’t expect everyone to enjoy the constant stream of baby photos, to like every one of them or even to give to give them a second glance. What I do expect, however, is for my ‘friends’ to show a modicum of respect and intelligence.

Who the fuck are you to insist that I stop posting photos of my son, on my Facebook profile, because you don’t want children? Well, whoop for you. My posts in no way suggest that you should jump on the breeding bandwagon. In fact, by the sounds of it, you probably shouldn’t. I post stuff about my child, on my newsfeed, for my enjoyment, not yours.

Facebook has these fancy features, called ‘hiding,’ ‘unfollowing,’ ‘blocking’ and ‘unfriending.’ It may be hard for you to understand, but:

I am not responsible for your newsfeed and I do not expect you to be responsible for mine.

I have often been annoyed by people’s incessant posts of their children (21 photos showing a child holding a dead bird) or photos of their pets’ poop and so I have simply unfollowed them. Facebook has made it really simple for me to decide what appears on my newsfeed and so I choose to use these features – why is it so hard for you to do the same?

If you don’t like something that I post then hide it, unfollow me, block me or unfriend me. Frankly, I don’t care either way. It’s been a long time since those actions offended me. I understand that you’re not keen on your newsfeed being filled with photos of children, but understand that, whilst I have other aspects of life that interest me and I don’t define my personality by motherhood, nothing is more important to me than my son. My partner and my child are my everything and I love posting about them.

I post for other reasons – I have family and friends in South Africa that love to see photos of my son’s development and I love to have these memories pop up on my feed a year later – but mostly, I post because I want to.

*For my hypocrite and irony seekers out there (and there are many), I am aware that this too is a nasty and hurtful article.

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